but being ignored and shoved to the side when you have "new" friends is not my imagination.
I'm supposed to visit soon, and I'm wondering if you even want me to. You don't answer when I call, don't even acknowledge it, and you don't call me. I know I'm still in the grip of grief, but this isn't helping.
I'm going to pull back, because I don't need/want the hurt any more.
and it fucking hurts. I know you have a life, and that I'm only a fringe of it right now. Intellectually, I know it will pass and that I'm important to you - but emotionally, I feel adrift and alone. I'm sad. I'm lonely, and no one ever reaches out to me. It's always me reaching out... and I'm tired. tired of always being the one who reaches out.... do I even matter to anyone any more?
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