Only a little late this month.
Feeling a little blue, tbh. I've stalled, and it's making me feel like a failure.
High Weight 338 lbs (best estimate)
Program Start 311
Surgery Weight 272
Current Weight 197.6
change from last month: 1.4
Measurements:
Hips: 44
Waist: 37
Bust: 41
Woo...losing my boobs. Yahoo. not.
I know losing over 110lbs is an accomplishment, and I'm proud of myself... I was just hoping for a little bit more. 20lbs more. There's still time, and I'll keep on doing what I'm doing, but I am still a bit sad. I see all these people down 100lbs 6 months after surgery, so 100lbs FROM surgery, and then I see my 75...and wonder... do I HAVE to have the abnormal things, every single time? really?
ugh.
July 25, 2018
July 4, 2018
surgery update
Had my hysterectomy on June 14, 2018.
I'm STILL knocked on my ass from it. Wow, what a trial and hell I went through! Before surgery was ok, but after. whew.
I stumbled into admitting at 7:00 am, got to my spot and sent my son home with my stuff. He's such a wonderful guy - I done good :D
They asked for a urine sample to do a quick pregnancy test, and I managed to get one. I then sat for a while, and someone came and took the sample. All good so far.
Got my IV, got a warmed blanket, and just relaxed until 9:15. At that point, they wheeled me into the operating room, and I did my usual "do what you have to, but tell me what you're doing" speech. They always ask why, and I tell them of when I was going for ...my gallbladder I believe, and the nurse put a huge amount of pressure on my neck, and then let go and I remembered screaming as I went out.... she never told me what was happening, and I remember feeling so helpless. So, I ask.
They put the mask on my face, and then I hear "wait...we can't start without her pregnancy test...." LOL I told them it didn't matter, and they said "yes, it does". Nope - do it anyway (NO WAY was I pregnant). For some reason, the test got lost. My surgeon was like "she's got a mirena, her period ended two days ago, and she's got so many fibroids it wouldn't matter" so they started anyway. I got a chuckle as I went out.
Woke up in recover, and in agony (again! fuck, I hate surgery). They couldn't get my pain under control. I asked about the pain pump I was supposed to have (according to pre-surgery clinic). Nope. Doc didn't order it.
Well, fuck. at that point I knew I was in trouble.
My doctor didn't order enough pain medication for me, and even when I saw her - she wouldn't increase it. I even told her that my pain is hard to control at the beginning - nope. I spent the entire night in agony. I almost passed out in the bathroom because of it. I only didn't because i fought it so hard. Next time, (i hope never) I will just let it happen and they can deal with the fallout.
My entire abdomen, back and right side spasmed while I was there, and I couldn't get a deep breath - meh from everyone.
It's like I've been labeled a drug seeker or something. NO one seems to get that I metabolize ALL medications/drugs quickly. If it's supposed to last 4-6 hours, 3.5 for me. If it's 3 hours for most...2 for me. NO ONE listens to me, so I suffer. Dental freezing is out in 3 hours or less - sometimes it's coming out before they're done.
I did manage to get her to prescribe some hydromorphone for when I went home - I FINALLY got control over my pain.
So, WHY am I knocked on my ass? My surgical team were quite giddy when the told me that it took all three of them to get my uterus out via laparoscopic means. They also told me they had to get a bigger container, the one they had was too small. One held up her hands, and the size was about a honeydew/miniwatermelon. OUCH, no wonder I was in pain for days.
Honestly, I'm still in a bit of pain - but it's nothing exciting now. Just the insides going to their new configurations. I'm on the road to recovery, just have to allow my body to heal.
I'm STILL knocked on my ass from it. Wow, what a trial and hell I went through! Before surgery was ok, but after. whew.
I stumbled into admitting at 7:00 am, got to my spot and sent my son home with my stuff. He's such a wonderful guy - I done good :D
They asked for a urine sample to do a quick pregnancy test, and I managed to get one. I then sat for a while, and someone came and took the sample. All good so far.
Got my IV, got a warmed blanket, and just relaxed until 9:15. At that point, they wheeled me into the operating room, and I did my usual "do what you have to, but tell me what you're doing" speech. They always ask why, and I tell them of when I was going for ...my gallbladder I believe, and the nurse put a huge amount of pressure on my neck, and then let go and I remembered screaming as I went out.... she never told me what was happening, and I remember feeling so helpless. So, I ask.
They put the mask on my face, and then I hear "wait...we can't start without her pregnancy test...." LOL I told them it didn't matter, and they said "yes, it does". Nope - do it anyway (NO WAY was I pregnant). For some reason, the test got lost. My surgeon was like "she's got a mirena, her period ended two days ago, and she's got so many fibroids it wouldn't matter" so they started anyway. I got a chuckle as I went out.
Woke up in recover, and in agony (again! fuck, I hate surgery). They couldn't get my pain under control. I asked about the pain pump I was supposed to have (according to pre-surgery clinic). Nope. Doc didn't order it.
Well, fuck. at that point I knew I was in trouble.
My doctor didn't order enough pain medication for me, and even when I saw her - she wouldn't increase it. I even told her that my pain is hard to control at the beginning - nope. I spent the entire night in agony. I almost passed out in the bathroom because of it. I only didn't because i fought it so hard. Next time, (i hope never) I will just let it happen and they can deal with the fallout.
My entire abdomen, back and right side spasmed while I was there, and I couldn't get a deep breath - meh from everyone.
It's like I've been labeled a drug seeker or something. NO one seems to get that I metabolize ALL medications/drugs quickly. If it's supposed to last 4-6 hours, 3.5 for me. If it's 3 hours for most...2 for me. NO ONE listens to me, so I suffer. Dental freezing is out in 3 hours or less - sometimes it's coming out before they're done.
I did manage to get her to prescribe some hydromorphone for when I went home - I FINALLY got control over my pain.
So, WHY am I knocked on my ass? My surgical team were quite giddy when the told me that it took all three of them to get my uterus out via laparoscopic means. They also told me they had to get a bigger container, the one they had was too small. One held up her hands, and the size was about a honeydew/miniwatermelon. OUCH, no wonder I was in pain for days.
Honestly, I'm still in a bit of pain - but it's nothing exciting now. Just the insides going to their new configurations. I'm on the road to recovery, just have to allow my body to heal.
7 months post gastric bypass
Very late this time! LOL
was still busy with other life crap, but at least I remember somewhat near the date
High Weight 338 lbs (best estimate)
Program Start 311
Surgery Weight 272
Current Weight 199 lbs WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ONE-DERLAND!
change from last month: -11
Measurements: (didn't do them because of surgery)
So, weight is still coming off. It seems very very slow to me, but clearly it's not. I'm down 73lbs since surgery, over 110 since I started this process, and while I expect the loss to slow - I'm hoping to make it to about 175. I know that's still a bit "heavy" according to the BMI sites, but I'm not a small framed woman. We'll see - maybe I'll make it there by "not eating much"
I still scratch, claw and struggle to make it to 1200 calories a day. I know that's the minimum I'm supposed to have, but it's really hard to do. I get "help" by drinking coffee with flavoured cream - it gives me a few calories. Even though they're pretty much empty ones. I just can't fit much into my stomach, and I'm okay with that. I don't want to ever go back to eating large amounts and being heavy.
So many people in my support group are struggling. They say their sugar cravings are out of control, and they can't help binge eating.... but won't get any counselling for the reasons behind the comfort eating. You HAVE to deal with the demons to make them stop sabotaging you. I don't say much because I just.... don't understand. I'm trying, I really am... but WHY would you do this surgery if you don't deal with the issues that got you there in the first place?
I was never much of a stress/emotional eater - I was just a mindless one. oh, I'm hungry - make enough food for two people and scarf it down as fast as I could. Since I can't do that now - I'm losing weight.
was still busy with other life crap, but at least I remember somewhat near the date
High Weight 338 lbs (best estimate)
Program Start 311
Surgery Weight 272
Current Weight 199 lbs WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ONE-DERLAND!
change from last month: -11
Measurements: (didn't do them because of surgery)
So, weight is still coming off. It seems very very slow to me, but clearly it's not. I'm down 73lbs since surgery, over 110 since I started this process, and while I expect the loss to slow - I'm hoping to make it to about 175. I know that's still a bit "heavy" according to the BMI sites, but I'm not a small framed woman. We'll see - maybe I'll make it there by "not eating much"
I still scratch, claw and struggle to make it to 1200 calories a day. I know that's the minimum I'm supposed to have, but it's really hard to do. I get "help" by drinking coffee with flavoured cream - it gives me a few calories. Even though they're pretty much empty ones. I just can't fit much into my stomach, and I'm okay with that. I don't want to ever go back to eating large amounts and being heavy.
So many people in my support group are struggling. They say their sugar cravings are out of control, and they can't help binge eating.... but won't get any counselling for the reasons behind the comfort eating. You HAVE to deal with the demons to make them stop sabotaging you. I don't say much because I just.... don't understand. I'm trying, I really am... but WHY would you do this surgery if you don't deal with the issues that got you there in the first place?
I was never much of a stress/emotional eater - I was just a mindless one. oh, I'm hungry - make enough food for two people and scarf it down as fast as I could. Since I can't do that now - I'm losing weight.
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