I know I have abandonment issues

but being ignored and shoved to the side when you have "new" friends is not my imagination.

I'm supposed to visit soon, and I'm wondering if you even want me to.  You don't answer when I call, don't even acknowledge it, and you don't call me.  I know I'm still in the grip of grief, but this isn't helping.
I'm going to pull back, because I don't need/want the hurt any more.
and it fucking hurts. I know you have a life, and that I'm only a fringe of it right now.  Intellectually, I know it will pass and that I'm important to you - but emotionally, I feel adrift and alone.  I'm sad. I'm lonely, and no one ever reaches out to me. It's always me reaching out... and I'm tired.  tired of always being the one who reaches out.... do I even matter to anyone any more?

Feb 22, 2019 - 15 Months post gastric bypass

Not too much to report.
Still having a lot of issues with calories - as in getting enough. When I hit 1000, I start to panic a bit. I'm so terrified of gaining weight back, I'm not eating enough. I'm going to have to talk to the dietitian and therapist at the clinic, I think.  I know I should be closer to 1600 a day, and getting to 1200 is a struggle.

Wheat and wheat products continue to be an issue.  I cannot eat them without pain, so I'm avoiding them for the most part. Made the mistake of having a few timbits today - I still feel nauseated.

Highest Weight  338 lbs (best estimate)
Referral Weight  322
Program Start    311
Surgery Weight  272
Current Weight  177

change from last: -.8

I've lost over 160lbs, and I still feel "pressure" to lose more.  Why is this???

Measurements:
Hips: 42
Waist: 34-35
Bust: 39 (bye bye boobs. sigh)