Yep, I was a mess. I didn't really leave my house unless I had to, and I really just.... existed. Did shopping, etc, but didn't do much for me.
and I'm a bit resentful. Where is everyone asking ME how I'M doing? I know I'm the "strong" one, but for fucks sake - it would be nice if someone checked on me and let me lean on them for a while.
I'm just... tired. I'm always the caregiver, always the one who has to do the running, pay bills, etc. I know that it's on me, because my husband is disabled, but... just once... could someone do something nice for me, that ISN'T me?
Even just a "hey, how are you doing today? I've been thinking of you".
*sigh*
yeah, that's not gonna happen. Everyone assumes I'm okay, because I usually am. Soon, though, I'm not going to be ok. and it's going to be ugly.
on another note - the election for Canada's PM is this week. I know that many are going to vote for the new right wing party the "CPC". And that means I'm fucked. They're everything that is bad for people like me - you know, someone with disabilities who isn't rich and productive. They're going to slash health care, services, and taxes for the rich and then cry poverty for those of us who need the support of health care and those services slashed.
You can always tell who has had a pretty privileged upbringing, who hasn't had to struggle and rely on "social services" - they vote CPC. People like me, who've struggled and lived on eggs for months usually vote Liberal or NDP. and it's sad.
I just hope that any friends I have never tell me the voted for the CPC, because I don't know that I'd be able to be friends with them any more - they voted for a party that puts the rich ahead of everyone, and deny climate change, and think that anyone who's not white is bad. Very similar to the orange menace in the USA right now.
and while they say they do not think that way, voting for someone like that tells me that maybe....just maybe .... they do. and I can't in good conscience associate with people like that. it's just wrong.
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